What to Expect at a Destination Wedding in India
You know in Hollywood movies, when the character travels to India and all of a sudden the camera moves in quick succession, attempting to elicit a sensory explosion by showing the chaos and colors, all to the tune of some modern Indian funk-hip hop song? Well, arriving in India isn’t exactly like that, but it’s also not not like that.
India was on my travel bucket list for years, so when our friends Rishi and Dylan chose to have not only a Rockford, Illinois wedding, but also a Kolkata one too, we knew we were going to make the trek. In the months and weeks leading up to our trip, we started researching the customs and traditions associated with a destination wedding in India, as well as choosing what we all should wear.
Haldi Indian Wedding Ceremony
Indian Wedding Guest Outfits
While I was somewhat excited to plan out my outfits for the wedding, I was over the moon about picking out lehengas for Maeve. We found three adorable outfits on Little Muffet that took a few weeks to arrive in the mail, as they were coming from India. They were all super pink and colorful with flowy scarves, so Maeve was obsessed and kept claiming she was a princess while wearing them.
Kevin and I had less luck when it came to our wedding outfits - Kevin’s were a bit tight and one of mine never showed up. Luckily I was able to head over to Devon street in Chicago to find a last minute yellow sari, a requirement for the Haldi ceremony.
Kolkata Wedding Ceremony Hotel
The bride and groom had chosen a beautiful hotel in Kolkata for the wedding guests, the Oberoi Grand, which offered airport transfers at a minimal price and was a nice perk after the long flight and layover in Delhi. The hotel was beautiful and grand with a pool in the center courtyard, surrounded by plants and flowers, and a few restaurant options. We don’t normally stay in hotels this nice, usually opting for an Airbnb where we can hang out after Maeve goes to sleep, but since all of the guests were staying there, we splurged and I couldn’t recommend this hotel enough. Our room had a beautiful balcony that overlooked the verdant courtyard.
Book a Stay at the Oberoi Grand Kolkata
Haldi Ceremony
While the traditional Indian wedding ceremony is normally three days long, due to travel constraints, the family chose to shorten the prewedding events and have the Haldi and Sangeet ceremonies on the same day. For the Haldi, it is customary for guests to wear yellow. It was amazing to see the beautiful outfits that everyone wore, in colors contrasting from banana to canary. When we arrived at the venue, a party event space in the neighborhood where Rishi’s family lives, we were amazed at the decor. The entire space was decked out in yellow, with a pseudo stage set up, covered in marigold garlands, upon which were chairs for the couple.
Haldi Indian Wedding
Indian Wedding Yellow Ceremony
Destination Wedding in India
Before the Haldi begins, the elders in the family create a turmeric paste that is to be spread on the bride and groom by close members of the family. Turmeric, or Haldi in Hindi, is known to have purification and anti-inflammatory properties and is spread upon the couple as a symbol of cleansing before the wedding ceremony begins. It is also said to rid the couple of the “evil eye” and bring them prosperity in their marriage. While the act of Haldi is very serene, it is also accompanied by bright colors and music, giving the ritual more of a party feel. Maeve, who in general loves to get dirty, found it amazing that she got to wipe Rishi and Dylan’s skin with this yellow paste.
Turmeric Indian Wedding Ceremony
Kolkata Wedding Ceremony
Haldi Indian Wedding Tradition
Sangeet Indian Wedding Ceremony
After a quick rest back at the hotel, we all started prepping for the evening’s activity: the Sangeet. We donned our brightly-colored party attire, with Maeve wearing an adorable light pink lehenga. This pre-wedding celebration usually takes place the night before the wedding and includes food, music and dancing. The Sangeet for our wedding in Kolkata was at the same venue as the Haldi, so we were already familiar and knew our way around. As soon as we entered, we were given passed appetizers, skewers of meat and glasses of wine. It is the family’s decision whether or not to serve alcohol at the Sangeet. Since this was more like a traditional wedding reception, Rishi and Dylan did serve wine and beer. Unlike a western event, alcohol is not served at the actual wedding, or Baraat, ceremony.
Indian Wedding Guest Outfit
Sangeet Wedding Ceremony
The best part by far of the Sangeet was the dancing. The friends of the bride and groom, as well as close family members, had planned choreographed dances that were performed after dinner. Maeve even joined in on one of the dances with the other girls.
Baraat Indian Wedding Ceremony
On the day of the actual wedding, we all relaxed by the pool until the early afternoon. Saving our best saris, kurtas and lehengas for last, we dressed for the Baraat, the official wedding ceremony. The only stipulation as far as colors of clothing for this event was to not wear red, as that is what the bride would be wearing.
Traditionally, the groom will arrive at the ceremony on either a decorated horse or elephant. However, these days, it’s common for the groom to just come in an expensive car instead. Yet as in all weddings, the bride’s arrival, called the Kanya Aagaman, is more important and extravagant. Rishi was carried in on a dolhi, a beautiful embellished carriage, and she was beyond stunning.
Baraat Wedding Ceremony Kolkata
Indian Wedding Guest Outfits
Indian Wedding Traditions Kolkata
After the arrival, the wedding guests watch as the bride and groom are taken through several rituals and traditions. While some people were sitting quietly, the majority of guests were wandering around and chatting during these rituals, so it didn’t feel as formal as the western weddings we are used to attending. I’m not going to lie, I found the entire ceremony so beautiful that I choked up throughout. It was something so entirely different from the church weddings that I grew up with. It was so beautiful, color bursting from every corner of the venue and the love of the bride and groom on display for all their friends and family to see. The rituals concluded with lots of cheers from the crowd and an elaborate fireworks display. Then came the food - a large buffet filled with Indian specialties galore. We devoured paneer, chicken, lamb, rice, veggies, you name it.
The evening was capped off with a set from a DJ, and we all danced the night away to a mixture of Indian and US pop music.
Overall, I could practically pinch myself that not only was I able to experience this event for myself, but that I was also able to have my young daughter attend and participate. It was an experience that we will all never forget. If you receive an invite to a destination wedding in India - do not hesitate. Go!